Literature

If I Were to Stay

“Please, don’t leave me,” she begged, with every bit of her soul at the palms of her hands. She knew it was going to happen regardless of her pleas, but the intensity of her feelings forced her to attempt a last minute request.

He saw her with sad and weary eyes, trying his best to hold back his tears. He was a very sentimental lad, which felt like a curse rather than a blessing more often than not.

But she could look past his fake half-smile, reassuring him that he was safe in her arms. And she caressed his skin ever so softly, saying, without the need for words, that it was okay to cry.

And, grabbing her by the waist in a very candid embrace, he sobbed. He felt the warmth of her body was a faithful testament to the confidence he had in her. And not for long could she, like him, stop her own tears from falling down the rosy-coloured cheeks painted on her face.

They were quite the picture to behold, standing as they did along those train tracks.

Together they remained for what felt like countless hours in a matter of a few minutes, hugging the other, none wanting to let go. But his pocket watch keep ticking alarmingly close to his appointed hour of departure. A fact that he knew he could not forsake any more.

He was the first to pull away from the enchanting spell their bodies created as they touched, causing all the magic they could grasp to fade away. She then looked up to him with sombre eyes, stopping herself at every word she tried to utter. The term speechless vaguely resonating within both their heads.

His body began to shift away from her picture with every step he took opposite to her direction. She didn’t want to watch her lover departing. It was already too painful without the need for a view.

And he didn’t turn back either. He thought himself resolute in his decision of leaving. After all, his assumption was that he knew better than she did about these things.

Thus, he kept pushing away his emotions, forcing positive thoughts to proliferate among his clouded judgement. Yet he could feel himself failing at such an endeavour. All he could think about was her. His girl. His Annie.

He boarded his train giving one last glance at the things he was to depart from. But his chief desire was to look at her for one last time.

She stood there, still looking at the horizon ahead and giving him her back, just as he had left her. The gloom he imposed upon her was palpable. As vivid to his eyes as any light could have been.

And that’s when it hit him.

He couldn’t go. Not like this. Not without her.

Yet he wasn’t able to go back to her nor to bring her along. It wasn’t an easy election, and he had to decide what to do fast before the train left.

But all his heavy heart would let him say were the words: ‘if I were to stay’.

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